Making Worship Meaningful

Recently my husband and I were able to visit another church for worship. A family sat two rows in front of us with no one in the row between us. I noticed the boys were about 10 and 12 years of age. The parents sat beside one another with the boys sitting beside each other. During the service the boys were not engaged at all in worship and the parents did nothing to pull them into the worship experience. The boys sat in the pew as the congregation stood for the call to worship and hymns. They were quiet but it was obvious to me they were very bored and would have just preferred not to be there. This made me sad. I have no idea what may have been going on in this family’s dynamics. I’m not judging. However I do know that we as parents must teach our children how to worship. We have to show children what it is to worship God. For a lot of parents if their child is quiet in worship and leaves them alone then it’s a good thing. They mistake quiet for knowing how to worship.

I’ve found that most parents love to teach their child about something they enjoy doing and want the child to like also. For example, if a parent loves the game of baseball they take their child to a baseball game. They don’t just let the child sit there figuring out the game him/herself. The parent will engage the child in what’s going on. If a parent loves the symphony they will take their child to a symphony over and over. They’ll probably play classical music in the house and car and explain to the child about the musical instruments being played and how the music makes one feel. Whatever the interest and passion a parent has they tend to share it with their child. It’s natural.

The same is needed for worship. What is it about a worship service that pulls us into a transcendent moment with God? A child can be pulled into it also. A child is much more capable than we are to be filled with the awe and wonder of God. They are able to sense the love and power of God. We just have to point the way for them.

It begins as soon as you sit down with your child in the sanctuary. Look over the bulletin and talk about parts of the service with your child. Make it a point to have your child stand up with you when the congregation stands. This conveys to the child that they are part of the congregation. If they are too small to see over the pew, hold them in your arms or have them stand on the pew with your arms around them. Point out in the bulletin the words being read. Even if the child cannot read it helps them know what is happening and makes them a part of the service. I love to hold my granddaughter as we’re signing a hymn. I’m sharing worship with her. No, she doesn’t know the words but I’m engaging her. I hold her on my lap during the Pastoral Prayer. She can be quiet and feel the power of the moment.

Sharing the worship of our loving and amazing God with your child can be one of the most meaningful things you do with your child. If you are passionate about worship your child will be also! It’s all a matter of sharing.

Deep Roots

The Today Show and Parenting.com surveyed 26,000+ moms about their secrets and confessions. One of the things the survey revealed is a majority feel overwhelmed. I don’t find that surprising. Parenting is the hardest job, hands down. It’s 24/7 and it is for life. As rewarding and fulfilling as it can be there are moments when it can be overwhelming. I remember several times when I felt I could not take the bickering and fighting one more second and I wanted/needed to leave. A walk down to the mailbox always was enough of a break and I was okay when I walked back in the door.

Perhaps what is most helpful is to draw close to God’s presence; “to be still and know that he is God” (Psalm 46:10). When we set aside a few minutes each day to read Scripture, meditate on it, and pray we will find great strength. To paraphrase Psalm 1, Happy are those…who are like trees planted by streams of water…in all they do, they prosper. Jesus told the Samaritan woman at the well that the water he gave was living water. When we plant ourselves near the stream of water our roots will grow deep. Psalm 1 is a contrast between those who put Christ at the center of their lives and those who don’t. Keeping Christ as our centering point is part habit. I know from experience that when I take time to start my day with the Lord I feel more at peace and, well…centered.

There are many benefits. 1. We grow spiritually and are able to guide our children in their faith development more easily. 2. We set a good example for our children. Let them see you are having devotions. Offer them their Bible story book and tell them it’s quiet time to be with God. Make it a daily habit. 3. We will be less stressed after centering in Christ and the fruits of the spirit will be more easily exhibited day by day. More love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Isn’t what every Mother wants to be with her children? I’m sure that not one of those 26,000+ moms want to be overwhelmed.

My prayer is that you have more joyful moments with your children than overwhelming ones.

Children of Faith

Often people think that children are not capable of having faith. It’s something that comes with maturity. That’s simply not true. In Real Kids, Real Faith, author Karen-Marie Yust writes that God doesn’t wait until we are fully developed to initiate a relationship with us; through grace, God gifts us with faith when we are born. It’s been my experience that children are often more capable to experience awe and wonder the things of God than adults are. Children are willing to listen and believe that God loves them. They easily pray for others. They are quite capable of worshiping God, they just need to be encouraged. Faith starts to grow through loving relationships. The child experiences the unconditional love of his mother and father and extended family. Next they experience love from nursery workers at church and others who care for the child. I have found there is nothing sweeter than holding one of granddaughters in worship and sharing a hymn or prayer as I cuddle her. She is experiencing the love of God through my love for her. I have seen my granddaughter say the blessing at meals. She loves to be the one who prays. .A few months ago I watched as she pretended to be at church. She opened a storybook and pretended to sing a hymn. She was praising God as she sang “Glorious” over and over! Start noticing ways in which your child is being a person of faith. Encourage it!

Sharing the Best Story Ever!

Bunnies, chicks, coloring Easter eggs, Easter Egg hunts, new outfits, and Easter candy are all fun things we get to share with our children at this time of year. Nothing wrong with it, in my opinion. On the other hand, as Christians this is the pinnacle week of our faith. We have the opportunity to tell the best story ever to our children! Take a look at the story of Holy Week. It contains stories within the story – Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem as King (Matthew 21: 1-11, Mark 11:1-10, Luke 19:29-44, John 12:12-19); Jesus clears the Temple (Matthew 21:12-13, Mark 11:15-18); Jesus teaches in the Temple (Matthew 21:28-23:39); Jesus annointed at Bethany (Matthew 28:6-13, Mark 14:3-9, John 12:2-11); the plot against Jesus (Matthew 26:14-16, Mark 14:10-11, Luke 22:3-6); The Last Supper (Matthew 26:17-29, Mark 14:12-25, Luke 22:7-20, John 13:1-38); Gethsemanae (Matthew 26:36-46, Mark 14:32-42, Luke 22:40-46); Jesus’ arrest and trial (Matthew 26:47-27:26. Mark 14:43-15:15, Luke 22:47-23:25, John 18:2-19:16); Jesus’ crucifixion and death (Matthew 27:27-56, Mark 15:16-41, Luke 23:26-49, John 19:17-30); the burial of Jesus (Matthew 27:57-66, Mark 15:42-47, Luke 23:50-56; John 19:31-42); the empty tomb (Matthew 28:1-10, Mark 16:1-8, Luke 24:1-12, John 20:1-10); Mary Magdalene see Jesus in the garden (Matthew 16:9-11, John 20:11-18). Yes, it’s a lot to take in but many children’s story Bibles break the bigger story into smaller ones that are geared for young children.

Share this amazing story with your children this week. Often Christians focus on the story of Palm Sunday and Easter which takes you from triumph to triumph and ignores what happened to Jesus in between. After Palm Sunday when you focus on each day of Holy Week when Easter comes it really makes you shout, “Hallelujah!” Children are able to grasp some of this rich meaning. One good tool to use are Resurrection Eggs which use symbols to teach what happened during Holy Week. If you can’t find ones to purchase it’s fairly simple to make your own. Take a dozen plastic eggs and find images on the internet of the Bible (where we find the story), donkey (Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem), money (Judas agrees to betray Jesus), Chalice & bread (Last Supper), praying hands (Jesus praying), whip (Jesus was beaten), crown of thorns (Jesus mocked), cross (crucifixion), dice (soldiers gambled over his clothes), piece of fabric (burial clothes), tomb (burial), empty tomb (Easter).

Share the Good News with your children! It’s the best story ever!!

Nurturing your children in the meaning of the Lord’s Supper

Often parents don’t feel qualified to teach their children about the meaning of the Lord’s Supper. Sometimes they aren’t too sure themselves and they hope their children will learn in Sunday school. I want to give you the tools to help you be confident in teaching your children about the meaning and our response. Always remember that you are your children’s primary faith teacher. What a wonderful blessing it is to share your faith with your children!

Until the 1970s in the Presbyterian church children were not allowed to take communion until after confirmation. That usually meant children were teenagers before they took communion for the first time. Since then the Book of Order states, “Baptized children who are being nurtured and instructed in the significance of the invitation to the Table and the meaning of their response are invited to receive the Lord’s Supper, recognizing that their understanding of participation will vary according to their maturity.”

Some churches offer a class or two for children to help them understand. In other denominations children receive their first communion at age six or seven after instruction in the church. In the Presbyterian church there is no set age. Parents are the ones who determine if their children have an understanding of it to partake the elements.

Think of the Lord’s Supper as a meal – a meal shared with family. I often have compared it to extended family holiday meals – Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter. All the family has gathered, from youngest to oldest and it’s a celebration! That’s part of what the Lord’s Supper is about. We believe that God’s people are in communion with Christ and with all who belong to Christ. Each time we gather at the Table the believing community are united with the Church in every place, the whole Church is present, and we join with all the faithful in heaven and on earth in offering thanksgiving to the triune God. (Book of Order)

At the Passover meal where Jesus instituted the Lord’s Supper he said, “Do this in remembrance of me,” Luke 22:19. That is another reason for the Lord’s Supper. We remember what Jesus did for us. He gave his body and blood as a sacrifice for us. The Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke give an account of that first Lord’s Supper. Jesus explained to the disciples that the bread he was giving them represented his body and the wine represented his blood of the covenant poured out for many. While it seems gruesome it is what Easter is all about and as parents we must teach our children the meaning. So the second meaning of the Lord’s Supper is we remember what Jesus Christ did for us. We respond out of gratitude that our sins are forgiven.

We prepare for the Lord’s Supper by examining where we have fallen short. We confess our sins to God and seek reconciliation with anyone whom we may have offended. Confession and reconciliation are two important concepts we need to teach our children. Children learn at a young age to say, “I’m sorry” for hurting another either through words or deeds. It’s important to teach them that we ask God for forgiveness too.

Another meaning is that the Lord’s Supper is spiritual food. Presbyterians believe that the elements remain the same – the bread stays bread and the juice is still juice. The greater miracle is that we are changed. We need spiritual food for the journey of faith. In faith we believe that the Holy Spirit helps us mature into the fullness of Christ. We only fully mature in Christ when our baptism is complete when we die. Just as our bodies need physical food to sustain us, we need spiritual food to sustain us for the journey of life. Children can understand that the bread and juice at the Lord’s Supper is our spiritual food.

Christian Educator Elizabeth Caldwell states in her book Come Unto Me, “We come to the table as invited guests, and we leave with our hearts full and satisfied. This joyful feast is a visible reminder that all of God’s children are welcome at the table.” Children may not fully understand the significance of the Lord’s Supper but neither can adults fully grasp the mystery of God.

Share the rich meanings of the Lord’s Supper with your children and invite them to the table. As baptized children they are welcome! Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these,” Mark 10:14.

 

Sharing hope in the resurrection with children

I’m preparing to lead a workshop for educators and pastors on “Helping Children in Low Times.” I’m on a planning committee for Christian Educators’ continuing education at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary. Last year as we discussed plans for a semi-annual retreat on the theme of “Where is God in the dry places?” I suggested we offer a workshop on helping children when they face low times. I was asked to do that. I readily admit that I’m not an expert on this topic. So I’ve been learning over the last few months. There is not a lot of Christian-based guidance out there. When I started looking for children’s books on dying or grief I found slim pickings written from a Christian viewpoint. I did find a few that I would like to share with parents. As my daughter-in-law (also a Christian Educator) said, “We have a story that is both comforting and true…why wouldn’t we tell that one?”

The best children’s book I’ve found is God Gave Us Heaven by Lisa Bergren. A polar bear cub asks her daddy, “What’s heaven?” He discusses with her what he knows about it. He even tells her there are some things we just don’t know about it. Everything in the book is Scripturally accurate.

Another recommendation is What is Heaven Like? by Beverly Lewis. It is a story about a boy whose grandfather has just died. He asks family members, “what is heaven like?” Their answers are Scripturally based with the Bible reference at the bottom of the page.

Jubilee by Ellen Yeomans doesn’t specifically mention heaven but it conveys a message of feasting and reunion; a true “jubilee!” Jesus talked of a great feast in heaven!

My new favorite children’s book is Psalms for Young Children by Marie-Helene Delval. It paraphrases in language and imagery that is appropriate for young children while remaining faithful to the spirit of biblical texts. They speak of God’s love and protection. These psalms acknowledge our fears but affirms that God is at our side at all times. This book is so appropriate to share with children as they face daily hurts and fears.

We must teach our children that God is always with us and loves us unconditionally even when we walk through dark times. We must teach them that we, as believers in Jesus Christ, have the hope of the resurrection. We will be with Christ in heaven and we will have a resurrected body! The world offers another point of view that is always out there and is easy to influence us. We do have a story that is both comforting and true! Hallelujah!